


It's not the Jedi way

by lkionus



Series: The Jedi and the Nightsister [5]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (Video Game)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:53:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22085938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lkionus/pseuds/lkionus
Summary: Cal tells Cere about his Engagement, her reaction is not what he thought it would be.
Relationships: Cal Kestis/Merrin
Series: The Jedi and the Nightsister [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1549762
Comments: 2
Kudos: 69





	It's not the Jedi way

**Author's Note:**

> english is not my first language so please excuse strange or false grammar/spelling  
> not beta read

It was the noon after life day and Cal was so happy that even the grey clouds and the light rain couldn’t darken his spirit. Quite the opposite, he enjoyed the Rain. So he threw on one of his ponchos and went out to do a little bit of meditating.

„You’re awfully chirpy today Cal.” Cere said when she sensed Cal nearing their usual meditation spot.

“Yeah well, I’ve got good news. Last night I asked Merrin to marry me, she said yes!” Cal expected Cere to be happy for him, but instead he could sense irritation and disapproval radiate off her.  
“You don’t seem happy for me.”

Cere sighed. “I guess it’s time we talk. Cal you’re a Jedi! Jedi should not feel attachment. It leads to possessiveness, to jealousy, to anger and to pain. It leads to the dark side!” She said, her voice completely calm.

“Merrin and I have been together for almost one and a half years, you never said anything. Why now?” the young man asked.

“You’re right, I never said anything. I let myself be swept away by everyone’s optimism and happiness, so I acted against my better judgment and just let you fool around. But if we want to rebuild the Jedi Order we must…”

“Rebuild the Order?” Cal asked, his voice getting louder, “There is no Rebuilding the Order, we saw to that when we destroyed the Holocron, and we had good reason to do so! The Empire is too dangerous, there is no Jedi Order, and there will never be a Jedi Order again!”

“How can you say that? After all we did to get that Holocron…”

“It was your dream Cere, not mine. I too want to help people, but we must accept the truth! Building a new Order is not the way! We are not Jedi anymore! We’re just survivors doing what they can to help. We must start living our own lives, by our own rules, not dictated by what once was!”

“So you want to just throw out thousands of years of traditions that secured peace in the galaxy for centuries?” Cere shouted, anger flashing in her voice.

“Traditions that killed us!” Cal shouted Back. The light rain had now turned into a downpour of water. “The galaxy evolved and changed in the last thousands of years, the only thing that didn’t evolve was the Order. We were stuck in long outdated traditions and rules. If the Order had evolved, if we had adapted to the situations we faced, maybe there would still be an Order.” Cal stopped a moment to calm himself and then continued with low voice, “But there isn’t, so I’m adapting to the situation now. Helping people where ever I can, but after my own rules. And I will not deny myself happiness just because of some old rules made by fearful old men.” With that, he turned around and went home.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When he arrived at his home, he hung up his poncho at the door and went to the living area. He was just about to sit down on the sofa when Merrin intervened.

“Don’t you dare sitting down when you’re still drenched and muddy, go change!” She said playfully.

“You’re right, sorry.” Cal answered and went promptly to the bedroom. He tried not to show the turmoil inside him, but Merrin noticed it anyway, she just knew him too well.

Cal had just taken off the dirty clothes and put on some clean pants, he was about to put on a clean shirt as well when the Bedroom door opened.

“What’s wrong Cal?” Merrin asked.

“Nothing is wrong, I’m just feeling a little cold.”

The former Nightsister furrowed her brows. “Please don’t lie to me Cal.”

He sighed, “I met Cere and told her about our engagement. She was not happy, she was almost furious. She said I shouldn’t have formed an attachment to you, she wants to go back to the old ways of the Jedi. We got into a pretty heavy fight.” He sat down on the bed. “I just… Cere is like family, I had hoped she would be happy for me but instead she just wants to live in the past. She can’t accept all the faults and failures of the Order.”

“Give her time Cal. You lived under the Order for what? Ten years? She was there so much longer, it’s only natural that it is harder for her to get used to a change this drastic. Don’t worry Cal she will come around. And if not I’m sure there is a magick ritual for that.” Merrin joked, causing the corners of Cal’s lips to twitch upwards.

“Thanks.” He murmured.

“Don’t mention it. Come now, I’ve cooked. I’m almost certain that it’s eatable this time.” That made them both laugh, thinking back at Merrin’s first disgusting try of cooking.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a little more than a week later when Cere visited Cal in the training room where he was working out.

“Cal can we talk?”

“Why? Do you want to scold me again for having feelings?” he asked with bitterness in his voice.

“Listen Cal, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. It’s just… It’s hard for me to get used to the idea that the time of the Jedi is really over, forever. And I think sometimes my memories of the Order cloud my judgment and keep me from being objective. You’re right, the Order never changed, stayed inflexible and couldn’t adapt even when it would have been necessary. We were peacekeepers and then suddenly became generals despite having no knowledge about warfare. I guess that’s the problem with blind belief, you only ever see the good sides, not the problems.”

“It’s ok Cere. I understand you. No hard feelings?”

“No hard feelings.” Cere confirmed.

**Author's Note:**

> this disscusion was probably Long due. 
> 
> also, wow that was a Long one, i did not expect that. 
> 
> thanks for reading  
> I hope you enjoyed it


End file.
